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2.08.2011

Straight Men ??!! No Way! On HGTV!

I've been healthily addicted to HGTV (Home Garden TV) for years, and I've noticed a trend over the past year.  While most designers were pretty women with long legs, such as Gevevieve Gorder, right, and Candice Olsen, we now have men. Straight men, gay men, lots of men.
The internet is full of requests for Gorder naked.  She has not done that.

HGTV decided to reach out to the straight male population, and to women who were tired of watching (pining over) gay men.  
Some of their hosts are straight men, which was a hard thing to find on the network.  These guys are appealing to women who like looking at men. 
We all do, ya know.
And they're appealing to men who can learn about working on their homes, without flagrant effeminate behavior.
Their first offer was Antonio Ballatore, who cannot be more macho than a tattooed pool player.  Ballatore’s background includes set designer for photographer Annie Liebovitz, among others.
I love his unconventional style, including hand blown glass lamps that rocked me.  His green bedroom design was "just shy of being offensive," according to judge Gorder.  Here is is, above.  Not offensive, at all.
He and his design make me smile.  This is Ballatore with his dog, Chewie.  I'm a Big Picture sorta girl: HGTV and the network wanted to butch up their line.  Ballatore’s gruff exterior, tattoos, penchant for the ladies, and skills with power tools earned him his win. 

His competitor, David Vickery, above left, is way similar to uber-successful (don't you hate the word "uber" if it's not uttered by a German?) gay designer David Bromstad  Bromstad is the first “Design Star” whose show, Color Splash Miami, remains one of HGTV’s highest ratings.  He is often sans shirt,  see below, right, and girls and guys dig it.
However, Antonio Ballatore "brings something unique to the table,” said mentor Vern Yip. “I don’t think that someone like Antonio exists at the network.” 
Translated: He's a straight man.
I'm sorry; Ballatore is talented.  I really enjoy him. I just find it odd that helpers on the show are all beer drinking band-t-shirt-wearing dudes.  
Okay, there's one woman, but she does the curtains.
Witness his makeover of a gym owned by Mario Lopez.  Hmm. We got to see Lopez sans shirt, and later, Sugar Ray Leonard magically appeared.  Dudes.  As if we didn't see enough of Lopez naked in Nip/Tuck.  Ladies, all the ladies...
Next is Scott McGillivray, a straight guy featured on HGTV.  He's the host of a home renovation show called Income Property, and he was a co-presenter on HGTV's show All American Handyman with Mike Holmes.  There is no man straighter than Mike Holmes.  When I did a search for this image of McGillivray, Google automatically inserted "without a shirt."  There is no shirtless image of him.  He's kinda married to a school teacher yet often hugs homeowners, men and women alike, after their renovations.  Nice. 

If you look for photos of my next Straight Babe, you find him all over gay sites, with readers who wish he were gay.  Oh well.  Carter Oosterhouse from the show Carter Can is certainly appealing. I just saw him in a men's cologne ad in Esquire, and the shot was killer. I think Oosterhouse is rather silly in his interviews, but he's a cutie.
Carter, you can saw something for me, anytime.  Okee doke.

The shockingly obtuse Straight Guy Show is not on HGTV, but on DIY network, which is following suit.   HGTV often features "partners," which is a euphemism for gay couples.  DIY usually has straight couples fixing things, such as a deck. Not so fun. 
So, from DIY, I offer you Super Straight Vanilla Ice. There's a decorating show on DIY with...Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice?
OMG, that's the guy who stole Bowie and Freddie Mercury's song.
He flipped and sold his first house 15 years ago, so DIY follows his renovation of a 7,000-square-foot mansion.
I find the show to be boring.  Just a house and lots of repairs.
“The house was completely gutted," he said on one show, "like a hurricane hit it. I actually get in there and swing a hammer with the guys. It saves money, and I know what’s going on.”
As he says, “If you got a problem, yo, I’ll solve it.”
Word to your mutha.

1 comment:

LOL said...

...The're all just a six-pack away.